The Power of NO: how to seize it

“Say YES to new adventures!” We can all relate to snapping out of comfort zones with inspirational quotes like this one. What a great plaque or signature tee, optimistic sentiment brimming with enthusiasm, & a bold expression of pop culture just wanting to LIVE. I get it. But…

“Say NO to people, places, things, circumstances & experiences that will not serve your highest good & support the modus operandi of your best life now…”

…should be a billboard on the side of every highway across America. Or, maybe, this statement should be spun into a curriculum, a series of modules, a workbook or webinar. Knowing when to say NO… separates the boys from men, if you will. This is where the sensitive empathic nature of the female principle is used to discern truth & thus harness its counterpart male dominant energy to the fullest in one tiny word: NO.

NO, just like YES, can give our power back. Go ahead… no one’s lookin’… say it out loud right now… “NO!” It feels pretty darn good, doesn’t it? YES & NO must be bestowed equal “air time” in the life of anyone who wants to be treated fair & just by others & the world around them. Neither position can be discounted over the other. They both equally serve their own unique dutiful purposes as needed. There is a time & season for all things under the sun.

It’s no secret that everybody loves the word YES!

“Say YES to the dress!” “She said YES!” “Yes please, thank you, more!”

The word YES is a happy word, a “game” word, a green light word, a word filled with promise, awe, wonder & excitement. Pop culture has been hooked on it for ages, essentially. Well… at least until Nancy Reagan launched the “just say no” drug campaign in ’82 & then of course the #TimesUp movement saturated society with a big fat “N” “O” in recent years, that shut down jackasses everywhere.

Regarding the 20th century, most of us Gen-Xers & Boomers were raised to have “manners,” & to be politely agreeable at all costs. After all, it was not kosher, professional, neighborly, gentlemanly or ladylike, to say NO. The word NO, indicated rebellion, rejection or rebuke… in the old days. We were taught to be YES people. Eventually we grew out of those outdated standards. We now know better. But never-the-less, the word NO, still carries with it, the weight of old school implications, connotations, traditions, customs & paradigms that are just plain flawed.

That said, this article is about NO, because it’s the less popular word of the two & it deserves some long overdue airtime. The word NO, can appear daunting at times, no doubt. NO, can come across abrupt, inconsiderate, brash, critical, anti-social, disrespectful, irritable or disagreeable, indeed. NO, can sound snobby, arrogant or rude. NO, can sound pretentious, pompous or short. It might get a bad rap for being sure & unwavering, but NO, doesn’t care… it stands in its power anyway, despite naysayers. No pun intended.

It’s probably not a good idea to get in the habit of agreeing to something just because you may think it is your only option. Mister Larry Limitation is just a left brain mind gamer. Do not be mistaken, when one door closes, another one opens ALWAYS. In truth, there are plenty of options & alternatives at your disposal. Trust this fact. Just because you may not SEE the next door, doesn’t mean it’s not around the corner. Geez, if we all had a crystal ball in our pocket, the faith muscle would shrivel up into a tiny raisin of rigid rationalizations. Yik.

NO, streamlines a clean cut down the fabric of a choice & a decision is made in favor of the alternative. NO, is an unassuming YES, in disguise, to an unequivocal reply. No ambiguity, no mincing words, no fuzzy maybe, no uneasy Eddie or uncertain Sally dawdling, or pacing with worry lines of trepidation. Potential empty promises burn holes in the rug of regret, but NO, restores our sense of dignity, decency, due diligence, integrity, accountability, & allegiance to none other than… ourselves.

Dignity, decency, due diligence, integrity, accountability, & allegiance. Those are some strong words. Those are words that contain qualities & character traits of a true leader. All the folks we look up to for demos of how to behave, react, respond & handle things best, exemplify the energy of those words. Leaders might indeed know how to say YES, but they sure as shit know the fine art of NO.

We all crave attention, connection, community, companionship, comradery. But it should never be satisfied at the expense of us, compromising our self-worth or monopolizing our time & energy. Neediness or desperation is no excuse to give in to the YES, when you really want to say NO. Your hair stands up, the pit starts to deepen, your inner voice says NO, & your soul is writing it all over the wall next to ya in thick black indelible marker. LISTEN to your gut instincts, your first emotional response, your intuitive nudges, inklings, prompts, hints of clues of those whispering small voices in your head.

Intuition & instincts MATTER. Yes, NO matters. Saying NO, is a requirement for a good life. If you want to stay sane, balanced, level-headed, tuned in, aligned, at peace & in control of your choices, knowing when to say NO, is a must. Saying NO is a requirement for a safe & secure existence, where your Auric field isn’t trampled on & your energy escrow isn’t sucked dry. Saying NO is a firm acknowledgement of who you are, where you stand, & what is acceptable or not in your realm of experience.

Saying NO, is claiming your position, with no margin for error, questionable intentions, or ulterior motives. Saying NO, means setting definitive boundaries that show people the door, where the closed sign is flipped, & the hours of operation are clearly posted. No means NO… is a real thing. NO should be honored to the fullest each day, no matter what our inner whiny kid wants or what the status quo seductively dog whistles into our psyche via commercialism & FOMO. Knowing the art of NO, should be a mandatory class in high school.

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