Ode to an Asshole: A Soliloquy

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Isn’t it a funny thing how the word asshole doesn’t discriminate? Anyone can be one.

Ode to an Asshole: (poem by Me)

Well send me to school without a lunch, there, lean mean Bo bean Bart…. I’m just an innocent bystander not a board for your dart. Holy mosquita, Rita! What’s in this puddin’ that’s so sour? I’m beginning to leak out my positivity, sanity & power. My brain feels like it might-a fell out around the last bend. I almost forgot how engagement with stupidity, is just a means to an end.

Fetch my scuba gear, Cap-in, cause I’m goin’ in deep. No egocentric bobble head is gonna pounce on my camp & steal my beer while I sleep. Terrorize some other unsuspecting target, ya ratchet piece of shit pie fuck, my time is a precious realm of relevant things, not good vibes you can squelch, snarl at & suck.

Keep your succubus blames & trivial oligarchy to yourself, ya jibber jabber in the corner Chris. You’re cramping my style, fudging my flow & patronizing my bountiful bliss. I suggest ya quell your unearthed issues, petty gossip drama & senseless bullshit… sweetheart honey. Or I reckon the hater hazmat team will toss your car & crib like your hidin’ their diamonds & money.

Hey there soul crushin’ Kyle, your tactics are way out of style. Get back in your cave if you forget how to behave. Get back on your square if you don’t know how to care. Stay in your lane, if your bitch ass can only complain. I’m not a bean bag that you think you can toss. Make one more fool hardy move & it’ll be your big bad hairy loss… there boss.

Threaten me again, & I will call my friends, the fuzz. They’ll knock your pie in the sky claims… clean into tomorrow, Cuz. Karma’s a bitch, she’s got a shit list yay thick & you’re on it in several places, son. Cause you’ve taken my kindness for weakness, & I sure ain’t in holy hot hell or high water …… the one.

Copyright 2017 JZapp

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