I’ve never been one to boast or brag, but, I have been alcohol-free for one whole year, today. If you would like to read how that originally transpired, & also catch a gritty glimpse into the rest of my whole life story in an entertaining chapter trio… tap on the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08TQ7F2CB for book, e-book or audio. The following poem is an excerpt from “The Age of Aquarius” chapter 7: What Tipping Point?
Ode to thee Old Drunk Archetype
No more loose boundaries, or unsolicited hookups I regret. No more being the bodacious buzz girl just hanging out to party or see how far the party can get. No more loose purse strings, blowing my tip money on shots for the whole bar… twice. No more loose lips, drunk texting, drunk posting, being way too friendly & way too overly nice.
No more saying things I didn’t mean. No more blacked-out moments I swore were just a dream. No more finding out later all the snide comments I made the night before. No more smoking weed until I’m not in Kansas anymore. No more white lines from weird guys. No more dumb decisions, or risky rides. No more letting bad behavior slip or slide. No more looking over my shoulder, having to run, duck or hide. No more scarfing down 2am pizza or bumming a dirty smoke. No more waking up with crazy cuts or bruises or thinking life is such a joke.
No more middle of the night fridge raids, or 1000 calorie binges. No more being slumped over the side of my bed parched with my door half off the hinges. No more waking up with a bunch of names & numbers in my phone I don’t even know or recognize. No more uncomfortable days where I can see my mortality in the mirror, my age in my hands, & a big fat ice pack across both eyes.
No more losing my keys, an earring or a shoe. No more in a panic looking for my purse & phone, tearing up everything for a clue. No more waking up with a guilty conscience, & a bunch of mysterious regrets. No more waking up with a pounding headache, in a bunch of cold clammy sweats.
No more red wine stains, or sticky stuff in my hair. No more crumbs & candy wrappers strewn without a care. No more racking my brain to figure out what exactly went down. No more wondering how I wound up all the way on the other side of town. No more letting the night get away from me or the day disappear. No more blackout disaster areas in my house, knocked over lamps, broken plant pots & spilled warm smelly beer.
No more next day blues in hungover city where I pretty much lose an entire day, or three, to recover my soul. No more struggling hungover workdays that feel like a square peg in a round god-ding-it hole. No more mornings still drunk from the night before. No more hair of the dog smoothies for breakfast while I sit crashed on the floor.
No more need for secret stashes, airplane bottles or wine boxes in my trunk. No more do I need a drink to relax, unwind, get loose, or get pumped. No more do I need a drink to deal with the grind or cope. No more do I need a drink for liquid courage, peace or sleep… that would be a, nope!
No more anxiety, worry, or secret guilt do I harbor because I feel like I can’t handle life without a buzz. No more compromised self-worth because of that, & pretending to be just fine, when I really feel like scuzz. No more buffering my true feelings. No more drinking my cares away. No more excuses. No more explanations. No more being comfortably numb all the live long day.
I have a new buzz now. It’s way better. It’s not temporary. It’s definitely here to stay. It doesn’t make you numb or not fun or have consequences that make you pay. It doesn’t take prisoners or produce casualties, & it doesn’t cost a thing but a choice. Choose wisely. Choose LOVE. No matter your fix or vice, if you still have a heartbeat, you still have a voice.
Excerpt brought to you by my latest BOOK: “The Age of Aquarius” which can be found here in several formats including audiobook. Tap HERE> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08TQ7F2CB
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