“The road to relationship hell, is paved with charming people who haven’t worked on themselves yet.” —Jillian Turocki
People who love you, AKA: friends, will not insult your character. Friends shouldn’t be tone-deaf to each other’s plight, passions, projects, or purposes. People who love you don’t secretly compete with you, control, belittle or bully you, or only keep you around to satisfy their own diluted sense of self.
People who love you should know you enough to not make “accidental” slights or indirect insinuations, secret or vocal assumptions, judgments, or unconstructive criticisms. People who do any of that, have trouble loving themselves & so the easiest way to dull the pain is by “cutting…” those closest to them. BEWARE.
That said, there are people who are simply gone from my life in all the ways. Any lingering long-distance relationships I may still have, are all on their last leg too. Friendships must be nourished to stay alive just like anything else in this 3D time & space reality we have been accustomed to calling “life,” for quite some time.
I am pleased to report, that after many lifetimes here, experiences galore & the karmic quilt of wisdom & enlightenment I have woven & managed to carry through even the darkest moments, some things actually ARE predictable. The 3D reality is much like a police scanner. If you pay attention to the landscape, you will know exactly how to respond. Some things are just always gonna be math & science, logic & factual type evidence.
Here’s one: If no QUALITY TIME is spent on a project, or invested in the dream or venture, all prospects will wind up dead in the water. Floating… like a lifeless flower plucked & stuck on a river rock just withering in the sunlight instead of growing in it. Here’s another one: in order for relationships to thrive, grow, be beneficial & wielding something that blesses the world, the neighborhood, community, or a family… that relationship must serve both parties equally.
In the realm of relationships, there must be a mutual understanding, where needs are met, & reciprocal conversations take place. And if any disagreements should arise, the relationship should rightfully have the where with all to diplomatically hear both sides, air grievances without vitriol & be willing to understand why the other party feels disrespected. If two people, friends, lovers, family members, can not agree by default to be proactive in each other’s life on a regular basis, then that is not a friendship or relationship. It is a mere floating flower about to sink at any time.
That said, I have so many floating flowers around me at this juncture. I actually feel like I am naked in a dark, murky lagoon. Barely keeping my balance on slimy rocks, I feel like I’m being baptized by the rushing river rapids while all the once pretty, now wilting flowers gather in lily pad formation around me for one final feeding. Thus I say my last words to them before the salamanders skip across them & the hot morning sun burns them off into the deep.
My last words: hope you find what you are looking for. Life is indeed what you make it. The joy is actually in the journey. The quality of a friendship depends on BOTH parties. I got news for ya: participation is a requirement in order for things to grow. A random one a month, or year, only on holiday, TEXT does not suffice in the book of friendship etiquette. And… the definition of compromise… is not “your terms.” Thanks for teaching me the lessons I needed to love myself more & move forward freer & more whole.
Turns out, most people ya meet in life are just for that very reason, to teach you how to love yourself more fully. People on your path show up for a reason, season, or lifetime. For me personally, “lifetimes” are hard to come by, especially when ya don’t even have a sibling or parent or whatnot that you can say you are ” stuck” with, lol. I’m an adult orphan in every sense of the word. And, I bet that even though social media hasn’t gotten famous off orphans, I’m sure there are a lot of us. Shout out to ya…
And finally, shout out to all the sinking flowers. May you find the school of fish you are seeking.
One,
JZapp
Book on fire! Love wins. 
Leave a Reply