The Power of NO: how to seize it

“Say YES to new adventures!” We can all relate to snapping out of comfort zones with inspirational quotes like this one. What a great plaque or signature tee, optimistic sentiment brimming with enthusiasm, & a bold expression of pop culture just wanting to LIVE. I get it. But…

“Say NO to people, places, things, circumstances & experiences that will not serve your highest good & support the modus operandi of your best life now…”

…should be a billboard on the side of every highway across America. Or, maybe, this statement should be spun into a curriculum, a series of modules, a workbook or webinar. Knowing when to say NO… separates the boys from men, if you will. This is where the sensitive empathic nature of the female principle is used to discern truth & thus harness its counterpart male dominant energy to the fullest in one tiny word: NO.

NO, just like YES, can give our power back. Go ahead… no one’s lookin’… say it out loud right now… “NO!” It feels pretty darn good, doesn’t it? YES & NO must be bestowed equal “air time” in the life of anyone who wants to be treated fair & just by others & the world around them. Neither position can be discounted over the other. They both equally serve their own unique dutiful purposes as needed. There is a time & season for all things under the sun.

It’s no secret that everybody loves the word YES!

“Say YES to the dress!” “She said YES!” “Yes please, thank you, more!”

The word YES is a happy word, a “game” word, a green light word, a word filled with promise, awe, wonder & excitement. Pop culture has been hooked on it for ages, essentially. Well… at least until Nancy Reagan launched the “just say no” drug campaign in ’82 & then of course the #TimesUp movement saturated society with a big fat “N” “O” in recent years, that shut down jackasses everywhere.

Regarding the 20th century, most of us Gen-Xers & Boomers were raised to have “manners,” & to be politely agreeable at all costs. After all, it was not kosher, professional, neighborly, gentlemanly or ladylike, to say NO. The word NO, indicated rebellion, rejection or rebuke… in the old days. We were taught to be YES people. Eventually we grew out of those outdated standards. We now know better. But never-the-less, the word NO, still carries with it, the weight of old school implications, connotations, traditions, customs & paradigms that are just plain flawed.

That said, this article is about NO, because it’s the less popular word of the two & it deserves some long overdue airtime. The word NO, can appear daunting at times, no doubt. NO, can come across abrupt, inconsiderate, brash, critical, anti-social, disrespectful, irritable or disagreeable, indeed. NO, can sound snobby, arrogant or rude. NO, can sound pretentious, pompous or short. It might get a bad rap for being sure & unwavering, but NO, doesn’t care… it stands in its power anyway, despite naysayers. No pun intended.

It’s probably not a good idea to get in the habit of agreeing to something just because you may think it is your only option. Mister Larry Limitation is just a left brain mind gamer. Do not be mistaken, when one door closes, another one opens ALWAYS. In truth, there are plenty of options & alternatives at your disposal. Trust this fact. Just because you may not SEE the next door, doesn’t mean it’s not around the corner. Geez, if we all had a crystal ball in our pocket, the faith muscle would shrivel up into a tiny raisin of rigid rationalizations. Yik.

NO, streamlines a clean cut down the fabric of a choice & a decision is made in favor of the alternative. NO, is an unassuming YES, in disguise, to an unequivocal reply. No ambiguity, no mincing words, no fuzzy maybe, no uneasy Eddie or uncertain Sally dawdling, or pacing with worry lines of trepidation. Potential empty promises burn holes in the rug of regret, but NO, restores our sense of dignity, decency, due diligence, integrity, accountability, & allegiance to none other than… ourselves.

Dignity, decency, due diligence, integrity, accountability, & allegiance. Those are some strong words. Those are words that contain qualities & character traits of a true leader. All the folks we look up to for demos of how to behave, react, respond & handle things best, exemplify the energy of those words. Leaders might indeed know how to say YES, but they sure as shit know the fine art of NO.

We all crave attention, connection, community, companionship, comradery. But it should never be satisfied at the expense of us, compromising our self-worth or monopolizing our time & energy. Neediness or desperation is no excuse to give in to the YES, when you really want to say NO. Your hair stands up, the pit starts to deepen, your inner voice says NO, & your soul is writing it all over the wall next to ya in thick black indelible marker. LISTEN to your gut instincts, your first emotional response, your intuitive nudges, inklings, prompts, hints of clues of those whispering small voices in your head.

Intuition & instincts MATTER. Yes, NO matters. Saying NO, is a requirement for a good life. If you want to stay sane, balanced, level-headed, tuned in, aligned, at peace & in control of your choices, knowing when to say NO, is a must. Saying NO is a requirement for a safe & secure existence, where your Auric field isn’t trampled on & your energy escrow isn’t sucked dry. Saying NO is a firm acknowledgement of who you are, where you stand, & what is acceptable or not in your realm of experience.

Saying NO, is claiming your position, with no margin for error, questionable intentions, or ulterior motives. Saying NO, means setting definitive boundaries that show people the door, where the closed sign is flipped, & the hours of operation are clearly posted. No means NO… is a real thing. NO should be honored to the fullest each day, no matter what our inner whiny kid wants or what the status quo seductively dog whistles into our psyche via commercialism & FOMO. Knowing the art of NO, should be a mandatory class in high school.

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Who She is.

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About the Author

My name is Jenay (JZapp), I was born in the hurricane season circa 1974, which makes perfect sense, because I certainly do like ta shake shit up. I am a writer. I write & write & write, that’s what I do. I came out of the womb with a fat lip from fighting off the earthlings tryin’ to pull me out onto this godforsaken land. No doubt I was snapping gum (if a toothless baby could snap gum), sporting a green sun visor, brandishing a pen & white legal pad, making lists & taking notes. It was September 18th, which was the five year anniversary of the death of Jimi Hendrix, bell-bottoms were en vogue, Eric Clapton’s cover of “I Shot the Sheriff” just hit the Billboard top 100, & it was fondly the era of the sexual revolution, better known as “Free Love.”

I knew how to write before I could talk or walk if that makes any sense. If writing was a faucet of running gold…. I would be the Queen of England, Egypt, and 12 other great empires. I would live in a golden castle with a golden cat & eat golden cucumbers. Diamond chips would be shooting out of my fingertips. Writing is what I do best. It’s how I live. It’s what I know. It’s timeless. It’s healing. It’s cathartic. It releases unwanted emotions. It exonerates. It liberates. It validates. It vindicates. It provides resolutions, answers, clues, closure, knowledge, information, wisdom, comic relief & enlightenment. I NOW HAVE THREE published books available on Amazon.com.

I am most definitely a wordsmith. Frankly, I have way too much fun with words, I can’t resist. I have some serious spunk & there’s no denyin’ my audacious attitude. I am my own brand of freelance writer & reporter of current, relevant, buzzworthy topics. I write colorful articles, create moods, stir things up, am brutally honest & have no apologies, & if ya don’t like me, oh well.

I’d like to think that my writing style is a blended firestorm of bursting color, & a healthy trail mix of Saturday Night Live, Sarah Silverman, Marisa Peer, Esther Hicks, Bob Marley, Bono, Kathy Lee & Hoda, Jimmy Fallon & a tiny sweet little dash of the Royal Renegade of radio… Dr. Michael Savage. I am a melting pot of many influential people. You don’t have to agree with me. I don’t have to always be right. I will say it how I see it, anyway.
I am a poet. I claim poetic license to the max, in or out of rhyme. I am an Artist of Word Art. What I write is deliberate. The English language is a “living” language that is still evolving. It’s not Latin. “Proper” grammar or sentence structure, etcetera, etcetera… may or may not apply here, thereof. So those of you who either may be nitpickers or English majors, put on some sunglasses, put your feet up, & flip on some tunes, cause nobody’s countin’ commas at this party.

If you read through my blog (Tap FOLLOW!)… you will find that I am a bit of a diplomat, pleasantly patriotic and am quite an ambassador for female empowerment and principles. I’m also a tried & true Culinary Grad, a foodie for sure, & recently embarked upon a Vegan lifestyle, so I feature plenty of nutrient-rich intel. As a “recovered addict,” reformed Catholic, abuse & rape survivor, I am a significant advocate for addicts, those in recovery, victims of abuse, animal rights, anyone ready to embrace their power & improve the quality of their life. I wear a hero helmet most days that reads: “power to the people” on the front, and “justice” on the back. I believe in equality, respect, unity, peace, & the eternal Divine force of Universal Law.

Furthermore, I am an Empath. This means I have the gift of clairsentience which loosely translated, means: “clear sensing.” And thus, I have a supersonic capacity to feel, sense energy & experience everything in detailed technicolor. Empathic souls absorb more than non-empathic people. We typically have a deeper understanding of life… & not by choice. We are born sensitives. I literally feel the pain of a wine-soaked drowning fruit fly. It gets even more amplified when I’m high… lol. Look out! She’s a philosopher!

This hyper-developed sensory perception has given me the ability to channel intel from higher dimensions, & over years of continued contact, I have become fluent in these transmissions via writing. In addition, empaths are the arch nemesis of narcissists… which is probably why I tend to have a bone to pick (more like 5 or 10) with any kind of controlling, egocentric, self- serving, dictatorial non-diplomacy.

What I stand for is non-denominational, non-affiliated, nonpartisan & all-inclusive. I am an amplifier of goodness & Light. It could be said that I am a proactive agent for the greater good. I espouse positive thinking. I consider myself a leader in the Conscious Revolution, a Light Guide/Life Coach/Spiritual advisor all rolled into the cool girl next door. Thanx for reading!
Namaste🙏

#JoinTheConsciousRevolution

Contact her:
jayzjay@hotmail.com

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Inner Voice

img_8981Ya know when your inner voice be followin’ behind you…shouting: “Hey! wait up, fam!”

And, you be like…wonderin’ what that ruckus is… ramblin’ on & on in the background. My inner voice has been tryin’ to catch up to me for weeks. She was taunting me in my sleep. Layin’ down signs left & right. Speakin’ through tarot cards & people at the grocery store n shit. And, I still was like one step ahead tryin’ to ascertain advice from strangers & guidance from friends. My inner  voice coulda stood on the roof of my car & pounced around, & I still woulda whipped around corners til she tumbled off. There I go, not even noticing her in the rearview, rolling down the road behind me screaming. What in the world?!

It’s very important to pay close attention to what life is showing us. Two imp hourly affirmations: 1) “I can rely on my myself” 2)”I listen to my inner voice, & trust my inner guidance.”

Alotta times we seem to think the solution is outside of us, that we do not contain the answers. But, the truth is, our inner knowing is the most valuable & reliable resource that we could ever count on or tap into. It is the only resource that knows our uncensored personal truth, and path. People outside of us who may be plugged into Source, like psychics, healers, life coaches, guides, gurus, therapists, counselors, close family or friends, may  only lead us to ourselves, because the answers are within. No one can solve another person’s dilemma, they can only assist that person to look within to find the cause, in order to confront the issue, contend with it & release it. Guides help to lead us to the areas that need to be observed in order to heal, grow and evolve so an issue can be transformed.

listen-to-your-inner-voiceToday, I listen. I recognize & pay attention, to signs, hints, clues, taps & smacks….the Universe is speaking. My inner voice knows best. That whispering still small voice that will not give up….until you hear it, is the voice that knows what’s up. My inner voice was screaming its face off….saying… in the words of John Mayer: “Say what you need to say”

ANNOUNCEMENT! Book now contains a compelling Autobiography which was a vital missing element. Book is now officially RERELEASED!  Check it out!
cover 104
 The Book of Beautiful Feelings:
A Quintessential Guide to the Art & Skill of Deliberate Creation
By: Jenay D Zapparelli
View book on Amazon.com for Description & brief Author Review. Purchase Kindle version @Amazon.com for only $3.99 USD & click here to BUY NOW for $21.95 USD with Free Shipping to anywhere in the US! Buy Now Button  
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