Age… is not just a number. It is a tactfully crafted lump sum of moments that have industriously capitalized on every single experience you have ever had in the whole grand scheme of things & then some. What a statement. What a mouthful. What a tall order to fill. What a magnanimous journey it took to get here. This life, we live, circa the 21st century, for pretty much each & every single one of us, is an incarnation that is one of many. This incarnation is the product of a long line of incarnations wherefore we had multiplicities of experiences here on earth in a human suit. Every single incarnation that we ever had led up to this: the life we lead right now.
Looking at it like this, is wise. This, in truth, is the reality of who we each are, & the realistic nature of our journey. Our individual lineage of lives we each carry with us like an echo of miles & miles of collected karmic creations, miscreations, entanglements, experiences & expressions… is what fate & destiny is made of. The very fabric of our life path is composed of the innumerable free will choices we made over our numerous, too many to count, lifetimes here.
This makes us SOLELY responsible for our outcomes, our dispositions, our states of consciousness. This makes what we CHOOSE the main reason for each & every one of our experiences, good or bad & all in between. Our “lot in life” is a direct & indirect result of the sum total of every choice we ever made, centuries wide. OUR FREE WILL choices, big or small, make up who we are, what we attract, & thus, how we are treated. The quality of our life depends on all the accumulated choices we made over lifetimes. This makes CHOICE, the only thing that really matters in life. Because, your choice is what makes you. Their choice is what makes them. Every single choice, move, maneuver, thought, word & deed you set forth out into the ether is a tiny microscopic energetic puzzle piece cocreating the artistry of the entire container of your existence.
It has been said, that we do not take anything with us after we die. Material wealth does not go with us to the grave. We can’t take the money, house, car or loved ones. BUT… we DO take OUR CHOICES. Yes, we take each & every one of our unique choices. The Universe does not miss a beat, when it comes to collecting every single move we make, decision, intention, & affirmation. Make no mistake, the Universe ALWAYS delivers. Make no mistake, there is no such thing as a secret, either. The Universe is ALWAYS listening. No matter what the choice, the Universe will indefinitely tuck it right in, weave it right in, paint it right in, blend it right in, bake it right in. Choices are the ingredients that compose the recipe of both our genetic & energetic imprint. Both our physical & ethereal design is a composite of our choices. These choice ingredients build your body, heart, mind, soul, character, personality, & position. Choices are the flavors that make up YOU. So, my advice is… when prompted: discern wisely, deliberately decide & consciously CHOOSE.
The fancy, buttercream, carefully crafted cake of your very existence… depends on it. Make your ingredients COUNT, today.
Books available NOW on Amazon & coming soon to Audible & iTunes this summer!
In light of the recent media frenzy over the lovely, easy on the eyes former Bachelor, Colton Underwood, I would like to also say a few words. We all know, in recent days, the former Bachelor has come out. He is gay, & has known since 6, & the poor kid had to live his whole life thus far in the closet. Being in the closet for any reason, sucks. Members of the LGBTQ community know all about that, all too well. It’s never a kosher way to live, hiding your truth with a muzzle on your voice. Suicide seems like the only way out at times, having to be all under wraps about your “shameful” disposition. Living in fear it might disrupt someone’s perfect ideal, or tarnish some moral code, law or standard, is no way to live. What a shame, what a sham, what a shitshow… sectors of our society have thus fabricated.
Before I continue, allow me to remind you, that SHARING IS CARING. Share this with your network! Spread AWARENESS, & the good vibes… 🙂 Namaste!
Colton mentioned football, he mentioned God, he mentioned religion, namely the Catholic Church. Colton was born the year I graduated from high school, 1992. He is a Millennial/Gen Z cusp generation. He is part & parcel of one of our freshest breeds of human. Which means that the back story behind his recent reveal assuredly confirms that indeed… the status quo or “powers that be” are STILL embedding corrupt files & lies into the collective consciousness of our young minds. It’s very disheartening, unacceptable & potentially dangerous. This means that curriculum, textbooks, classes, masses, coaches & teachers are STILL implementing strict, unwavering, backwards/backwoods dogmas into the the plushy psyche of our future leaders. Wow. Is what I have to say to that.
In extreme cases, this is how monsters are born, mass shooters, serial killers, sex offenders. More commonly, this is how we grow a whole crop of messy adults with issues, walls, diagnosis’ & an inability to love themselves, keep careers or maintain healthy relationships. The infrastructure of the “system’s” core beliefs MUST BE REVISED to begin to more accurately reflect THE TRUTH. Keep reading to find out what that truth IS.
I attended Catholic school for 12 years, from 1980-1992. I know all about the patriarchal scare tactics. That’s why I sought out Bob Marley to teach me how to get free from false misinterpretations of God. But, many didn’t have that luxury. And the Catholic Church not only screwed them up, but in many cases, unfortunately, actually screwed them in the worst way. No pun intended. They assaulted them to the most harmful degree in what we all now know as the Catholic priest child molestation scandals. That said, I talk about this subject matter quite poignantly in all my books. But, most recently I highlighted this exact topic. And so, I wanted to quote an excerpt from my newest book “The Age of Aquarius a practical guide to bringing 5D alive,” because now more than ever, it needs to be said.
“Jesus was a pretty popular dude back in the day. Most folks still rely on him to get them through tough times & to find some necessary redemption for their supposed lost souls or sinner selves. If I may interject here, on behalf of countless citizens from the 20th century, this Christian belief system is a trigger for many people. Ya think? But thankfully I can deliver some good news: no longer does human kind need to buy into a “sinner self” archetype. This archetype is very outdated. The Catholic Church believing that gay marriage is wrong is outdated just the same. Talk about judgement. Wouldn’t it seem correct to assert that Catholic priests have been engaged in homosexual behavior over decades anyway? Mmm hmm.”
—Plucked from Chapter 2 of The Age of Aquarius book
Now more than ever has the human society come to an impasse where we really need to rethink the kind of rhetoric we are teaching our youth. The notion that God is some big elite man in the sky pulling strings who we must please, worship, suck up to, & be on best behavior for or else he will break out the naughty & nice list, is a distorted man made idea. A god that keeps tabs on us like a ruler or warden of sorts… is a narrative that was contrived by whisper down the lane misinformation. This false idea that we must behave like good little children as if we are grovelling at the foot of some righteous dictator that we are so less than, & so inferior to… gives developing minds a distorted version of what God really is. That said, statements like “God doesn’t like gays,” or “gay is a sin,” are not only ridiculous, but discriminatory, damaging & the furthest from what Jesus would EVER even THINK of saying. What a joke. WWJ REALLY DO? Let’s see…
Jesus would be the LEADER of the Pride Parade sitting on a rainbow float full of Drag Queens.
Furthermore, Jesus Christ: Master of 5D would never go around telling people that they are sinners who are doomed to damnation unless they redeem themselves by behaving as if God is a big separate deity in the sky. This is WRONG, it is a LIE, & no religion should be teaching this corrupt concept of God to children anymore or ever again. Period. This false man in the sky patriarchal God that condemns, judges, rules, dictates, punishes & dominates with an iron fist is not the God that is REAL. My books teach this BTW, in FULL clarity. Get your copies today, what are ya waiting for? Scroll to the bottom of this page for links! (go ahead & finish this article first though, lol)
God, is a living god, that resides in each & every one of us. God is man, man is God, & if it is the last god-damn thing I do on this Earth, it is gonna be helping the human community understand that. We MUST as a human nation of beings come undone from old outdated programs & paradigms that state that God is a big judge in the sky who zaps people’s indignities with a lightsaber. We are not a race of beings who should be conditioned to believe that we are anything less than perfect, amazing, unconditionally loving Gods ourselves. WE ARE GOD. We are one with Divine countenance.
Grace is our BIRTHRIGHT, not our salvation.
Read THAT again, twice.
Here’s a little affirmation to LOCK THAT IN for ya. Recited by the greats, this version is from none other than the OG of New Earth, Patricia Cota Robles (eraofpeace.org):
“I AM my I AM Presence and I AM One with the I AM Presence of ALL Humanity. As One Voice, One Breath, One Heartbeat, and One Energy, Vibration, and Consciousness of Pure Divine Love, we invoke the most intensified frequencies of the NEW 5th-Dimensional Crystalline Solar Violet Flame of God’s Infinite Perfection that Cosmic Law will allow.”
In case you are unclear, the “I AM Presence” is GOD. Divine union of God & man is within our jurisdiction & so we have the RIGHT & also>>> RESPONSIBILITY, to wake up each & every day & CHOOSE it. Being separate from God, is just a false storyline the left brained rational 3D limited time/space constructed ego mind likes to spin. Separation from our Divine Identity is just an illusion. It’s not true. We have just been conditioned over centuries of generations. It has even so far as been deeply embedded into our DNA at the most cellular level, & that is why we THINK it’s true. But, it’s NOT.
God is man, man is God.
If an Ancient Atlantean or Lemurian could be a fly on the wall of today… they would be in shock at how we have conditioned each other to fashion this belittled small existence for ourselves… when in fact, we are capable of so much more. They would be taken aback, honestly, by all the misfortune we incur due to this flawed belief system we’ve imposed on ourselves. The human species must begin to have the kind of faith that moves mountains, so that indeed we are able to embody the updated brand of human: Homo Luminous & enter into the “Promised Land” most of us are calling “New Earth.” Our collective belief systems are the cornerstones of this transformation. It begins with teaching our youth the TRUTH.
The ONLY way to implement such a magnanimous virtue, as moving mountain faith… is to begin teaching our children & each other that BEING GOD is well within our rights & reach, RIGHT NOW. Not when we are good, or after we die, or when we go to church, donate something, meet a quota of good deeds, are baptized or “saved,” but RIGHT HERE NOW, as we are, flaws & all, without having to do a thing but surrender to our soul self. Remembering who we truly are, entails why our souls have come to earth in a human suit in the first place. In truth, we incarnate here to bring God to life, animate & illuminate the fruits of the God force on Earth, so we can spread joy, love, peace & harmony. We were originally intended to peacefully master the Earth & her inhabitants in a most divinely efficient manner by code of Ahimsa meaning: “do no harm.” Raping & pillaging is so caveman. We were intended to live “the good life,” but NOT at the cost of other creatures & Planet Earth’s resources.
We are not supposed to behave as if God is somewhere else while we languish in self-pity over being unworthy or forsaken. That is a FINITE, egoic FALSE perception of the way things are. When in TRUTH, they are just the opposite. The self-imposed tomb of trauma, traps, & triggers we have been choosing to rot in for lifetimes, is EXPIRING. No longer do we need to suffer & struggle here in order to learn tough karmic lessons.
Today is a new day.
The karmic rat wheel fell off the tracks & is rolling down the hill into a new horizon. Oprah Winfrey famously said in her Golden Globe speech in 2018, “A new day is on the horizon!” She wasn’t kidding. The dawning of The Age of Aquarius is at hand. And, don’t let anyone tell ya otherwise.
We did not come here to grace this planet as the royal souls in suits we are… to sit around & languish about how distorted our realities are like we are victims of some cruel joke of an evil hierarchy in the sky.
That said, we did not come here to attack each other’s lives, looks, plans, passions, goals, paths, beliefs or differences, just because we are so damn miserable with our own.
We did not come here to be slaves of a society that makes us work our lives into the ground, need a vacation all the time, & need vices to keep our cool, get by, & to make us feel like it’s all worth the strife & sacrifice.
Furthermore, we did not come here to be constantly struggling, stressing & striving to have, be & do whatever it is we think that we are expected to in order to be free, happy or loved.
We did not come here to ignore our fellow man either, & live in a bubble, that allows for a sort of blinding consciousness to reign supreme wherefore we each seemingly have tunnel vision, & citizens of whole communities have no consideration for their fellow man, the planet, animals or the world population in any capacity.
We didn’t come here to separate ourselves from the rest of the world like we are still somewhere in the Middle Ages. We have Zoom & FaceTime & can travel to anywhere on the planet that has internet access, in an instant, if we wish. Surprise… the population of the planet is now our backyard.
We came here to care. These bubbles need to pop. Just because ya don’t SEE the starvation & poverty in Third World countries or ya don’t SEE the cow being horribly slaughtered for the burger on your plate… doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter & there is nothing you can do about it.
We did not come here to fix each other or complete each other either.
We didn’t come here to mate, just merely procreate, or score “true love” with some fantasy version of a person who doesn’t really exist. It’s not the 50s. The “American Dream” was a big fat lie. Life is not all about courting each other & becoming so enmeshed in our lovers & families that we lose all sense of self.
We didn’t come here to get lost in one another, get caught up, & co-dependent, as to where others don’t really matter. The planet seemingly is out of our “jurisdiction,” how society treats animals isn’t any of our business, the morals & values of our communities don’t carry weight, & the falsities of our system & curriculums don’t matter enough to warrant some real updating, correction or CHANGE. (that’s what a BUBBLE looks like, folks)
We didn’t come here to be wrapped up in each other & enmeshed in our families & friends so deeply that we become lost or complacent, or content to just live a “simple” life being mediocre, scheduled sheeple-bots. That’s NOT living. That’s a Stone Age template.
We are not separate, we are a unit. If one person is out of tune, the entire orchestra is off-key. It’s time to expand our consciousness to INCLUDE the human condition as a whole, because IT COUNTS.
We were not brought here to rape & pillage, we were brought here to heal & nourish. We are not meant to be self-centered carnivores & energy sucking vampires, stealing from the planet & each other, senselessly decimating our fellow beings. We are meant to be plant-eaters & prana breathers, self-sustaining cocreators with the Divine Force of Good. “Do No Harm” or Ahimsa, is just a polite way of saying: “Stop being cavemen!” The caveman archetype with a survival mentality… is no longer relevant. We have a Trillion dollar economy for god sake, it’s the 21st Century, & there is way more than enough of anything & everything & then some… to go around twice, times a thousand… twice.
The human species is a moving mass of consciousness itself, that we can indeed individually influence & affect. We are trees in a forest that stand together in a sea of branches & leaves all within reach of one another. We as a united species of humans are being nourished by the same sun, showered by the same rain & serenaded by the same bird song. We are all souls in suits who are just versions of each other. We are here in Earth School to grow, & learn to be better, more refined individuals who thus grow a bigger, more expansive, well-endowed heart. The kind of heart that encompasses far more than just the small impact & influence of a local circle, or self-centered codependent relationships. This, my friends, is what the pillar of Unity Consciousness, looks like, this is what REAL LOVE looks like.
If you are still reading… great! Stick around for part 3 of this article. And while you wait, go ahead & click below to purchase both books now. Even though levity is required to live a best life, this is nothing to joke about. As you can see, I’m on a mission to excel souls to excellence. My gift is to help illuminate those who wishto match the vibration of their highest calling, purpose, plan, potential, design, whatever it is you wanna call it. My purpose is to assist humanity via written guides that educate, enlighten, fascinate & invigorate. We are ALL here to serve.
Start here. Click below. Add this to your repertoire today.
If ya wanna up your game, pimp your ride, pump up the volume on your soul shine… here is the only optimizer you need. YES, the books, they are indeed the ultimate mindset coaches. Now available on Amazon, see links below. Coming soon to Audible, you will also have the opportunity to listen to my voice in transit, at the gym, walking the dog, or on a chaise lounge staring up at the sky on a Tuesday afternoon. They are on schedule to both be out by summer.
The immaculate intel beaming from the two books I talk about so intently, is immortalized on the vine. No, not because they are vampire books, but because the messages contained within them will live on in the reader forever. This is what SOUL food looks like. It’s not a temporary fix of fly-by-night information that will fizzle out eventually. It is the kind of knowledge that lends itself to the growth & advancement of the being that lasts well beyond this life. This is what REAL wealth & fortune looks like, the kind you can actually take with you after you “die.” Sound creepy? Well, it’s NOT. These are facts that the Status Quo should have already been teaching in school.
While our human society seemingly rots on the vine… our souls seek higher ground. Ya think? Precisely. So this is why books like this, retreats, webinars, readings, guided meditations, soul mastery modules, coaching sessions & the like, are born. The content therein is nothing short of transformational on a most fundamental level. “What the world needs now is “love sweet love,” sounds good, but no one seems to get what that is. What people really need right now is authentic guidance from non-political, non-partisan, non-sect or religion, non-denominational neutral unifying leaders who can lift people to their living potentials. Otherwise, we will continue to produce casualties as a society.
These days, no matter how much the status quo attempts to bring the balance of power into the mainstream collective consciousness, the more divisive it seems to get out here. We are now more than ever separated by color, race, class, rank, gender. The reason for this, is because everything buried MUST surface to be cleared. There is no other way for all the hidden hate & disdain to surrender, heal & resolve itself. False programs, misinformation, flawed habits, perceptions & practices all must come undone & run out like muddy water from a spicket. ALL LIVES MATTER, & now more than ever are we evolving to honor that fact, even though it may appear otherwise at times.
REMINDER: there is no need for folks to worry or fret, be scared, fear the unknown, mismanage themselves & their lives or feel they have to escape or hide.
Why? Because a new day has dawned. The 1960s are NOT on repeat. I repeat… the 1960 era has not returned to haunt us for our transgressions or ungrowth. Even though these times we live in do thus look awfully familiar, they indeed are NEW days. They are new days on the planet wherefore we have passed through a gateway. Like if Earth was a video game… the human race would be on an advanced level on some top tier, with a bunch of points, coins, gold bars & accolades… winning & closer than ever to the proverbial Holy Grail, or high score.
We are electric beings of light in TRUTH & any definition less than that is straight false.
If you are still reading… great! Stick around for part 2 of this article. And while you wait, go ahead & click below to purchase both books now. Even though levity is required to live a best life, this is nothing to joke about. As you can see, I’m on a mission to excel souls to excellence. My gift is to help illuminate those who wishto match the vibration of their highest calling, purpose, plan, potential, design, whatever it is you wanna call it. My purpose is to assist humanity via written guides that educate, enlighten, fascinate & invigorate. We are ALL here to serve.
Start here. Click below. Add this to your repertoire today.
We are all just souls incarnate, souls in suits, reincarnated. All lives equally matter. When we separate each other by color, class or gender, in the media especially, we are doing humanity a great disservice. When is the collective going to celebrate PEOPLE? Not black or white or green or blue or purple… just, PEOPLE, human beings & their accomplishments. People & the souls within them are made of the exact same material as other souls. Divisiveness is insidiously undermining our youth to compare, contrast, judge & categorize by SKIN COLOR. It is taxing, toxic & traumatizing, & doesn’t send the right message. Historic discrimination, unequal rights, slavery & sexual misconduct shouldn’t define who we are today, & should not rightfully define our behavior going forward. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
ALL LIVES MATTER. Not white, not black, brown, tan, yellow, blue, red, lavender… ALL. We were all here before. 1000s of lives. Recycled thousands of times. Only to return over & over to begin again be born & die again then come back as our neighbor. So the gender, color, class, creed, nationality, you just so happen to be in this life is just an illusion. Last life you were someone else… that was most likely the polar opposite of who you are now. If you are a man… you were most likely a woman. If you are black… you were probably white, so on & so forth. We all need to take a good hard look at who we really are at our core & stop producing more racecards.
Regarding this ludacris social & political debate over gender… Ancient Lemurians from thousands of years ago were androgynous beings that existed here on Earth as a type of humanoid species. So, what difference does it make if a person in this day & age is what we are calling: “Transgender?” Who made up the fake rule that there are only TWO genders? Apparently, there are two… and a bunch of levels in-between. It goes as far back as Ancient Civilizations. Race, color, gender, religion, culture, creed does not apply when it comes to the heart, soul & mind.
Click below to get your copies of my two new books & read all about my life story in them. Or follow any of the links to jump on my team. And, I made a “music video” for my books down below featured on my new Youtube channel if you want to check out my newest Art. Just PRESS PLAY below. Thanks for reading!
Jenay Zapp is an Independent Author who had been the “starving artist” archetype most of her life. Currently, a “school of hard knocks” graduate with a master’s degree from “thug life Institute” she managed to miraculously survive seemingly unscathed. A product of a dysfunctional childhood, her self-worth was starving in every direction while all her shining potential was being continuously suffocated by a plethora of unresolved karma, unhealed trauma, anger, sadness & fear. She played the role of “only child,” abused, abandoned, wounded, troubled kid, & rebellious teen, who then went on to be the bipolar addict, scammer, thief, hooker, sugar baby, party girl, drunk driver, & escape artist. This resulted in the archetypes of inpatient, inmate, convict, parolee, loner, orphan, victim, survivor. Then she went on to be the almost mother, wanna-be wife, other woman, & scorned woman. She was the gig worker, cleaner, clerk, dead end job employee, struggling service industry staff/stressed-out Sous Chef. Then her one last-ditch effort was the wounded healer, lonely lightworker, emotional empath, broken poet, pseudo boss babe, & aspiring millionaire. “Poor me” another glass of “whine.” You name it.
Then one day in year 2020 at age 45 there was a world pandemic & all restaurant workers were laid off. She made an executive decision to become completely 100% free of meat, dairy, drugs, alcohol, smoke, processed food, toxic relationships, unhealthy choices & unnecessary habits. Micro organizing everything from online folders to sock drawers, she trimmed all fat, cut out all drama, mindless chatter, & superfluous engagement. She significantly minimized: consumption, plastic, waste, distractions, binge watching, binge shopping & binge eating, at which time she produced her two latest books. She has no family, no parents, siblings, friends, support system or partner to speak of. No one except her two cosmic cats & her Elite Team of Spirit Guides who work in conjunction with her to produce all projects. It looks like the refiners fire produced a gem.
Read book descriptions. Use the “Look Inside” feature. See for yourself.
SUBJECTS: Nonfiction. Inspirational. Motivational. Health & Wellness. Self-empowerment. Self-development. Ascension. New Earth. 5th Dimension. Human Potential Movement. Real History. Pop Culture. Autobiography. Cosmic Consciousness. Animal Rights. Human Rights. Holistic Healing. Addiction Recovery. Mindfulness. Spirit Guides. Nature. Mysticism. Spirituality. Social Justice. America. Mind, Body, Spirit. Soul Mastery. Metaphysics. Quantum Mechanics. The Great Awakening. Chakras. Energy. Meditation. Law of Attraction. Universal Law. Deliberate Creation. Manifestation. Miracles.
Published by: BookonFire Press /www.bookonfireblog.com/ “Revolutionizing the World One Book at a Time.”
Click below to get your copies of my two new books & read all about my life story in them. Or follow any of the links to jump on my team. And, I made a “music video” for my books down below featured on my new Youtube channel if you want to check out my newest Art. Just PRESS PLAY below. Thanks for reading!
RIGHT NOW, your vibe counts above all else this very minute. Above all else in this space. Above all else as it pertains to this life, world, society, your home, circle, team, family, business, work, game, goal, plan, intention, strategy, regimen, day, week, class, commute, trip, meeting, project, event, activity, celebration, collaboration, correspondence, communique, get-together, or gathering. Above all else in your yesterday, today & tomorrow, because your vibe is what determines your quality of life & of every single encounter & experience you have. Within those, you thus have an opportunity to inflict or inspire. Your vibe, your choice. Choose wisely, because what you resound defines your presence.
Your PRESENCE is what people feel. Your presence is what people know. Your presence is what people remember. Your presence is the “take away.” The world is a big stage & your stage presence is your VIBRATION, & above all else… it is all that really matters. What’s BEHIND the mask, is what matters. The message behind the post, the personality behind the selfie, the intellect behind the accolades, the heart behind the winner, the meaning behind the song. Your vibe is what hangs in the air after you’re not there. It’s the gift that keeps on giving long after you’re gone. Your vibe is what leaves the impression, what spearheads the impact, what internalizes the influence. Your mood or attitude indicates your vibe, so check it.
The only reason why anyone is important in this world, to anyone… is because of the way they make people feel, AKA: your signature VIBE. So… tend to your “garden.” Make your garden great. Make your sanctuary harmonious, luscious & inviting to hummingbirds, not scavenger crows. Consume the finest quality food, intel, news, vibes, sights, sounds, words, thoughts, values, company, conversation, entertainment, music, BOOKS. These two books will shower your garden with diamond rays of golden light. #MyAmazonBooksR4Sale RIGHT NOW.
What’s in them:
They both include very important NEW information for overall health & wellbeing no matter who you are. Gender, age, race, religion, culture, color, creed, all apply. In this case, one size actually does fit all.
They both provide an advanced understanding of the 21st century, of Love redefined & after reading these, it looks like God will have no more gray areas. Guaranteed.
I highly recommend them to anyone wanting to grasp the bigger picture of what exactly is happening to America, our world & human civilization at large.
Allow me to tie it all in for you, make perfect sense of the past, present & future of our species, & familiarize you with a vantage point>>> the likes of which you’ve never had before.
And, even though they both contain heavy-duty topics… as always, they skip down memory lane like a champ & are peppered with an excellent sense of humor, if I do say so myself.
You will also gain access to my signature “Dimension Diagram” that you will find nowhere else, that explains in full clarity each dimension beyond what google or any other resource contains. You will receive a 21-page awesome journal & (that’s not all) lol, you will also gain access to a complete Soul Activation. Cheers to that!
Plus… catch my charming rendition of a 2020 time capsule & dunt da da da: my remarkable life story in its entirety all the way up to now, in two made for TV chapters that will indeed make you want more.
Click below to get your copies of my two new books & read all about my life story in them. Or follow any of the links to jump on my team. And, I made an incredible “music video” for my books down below featured on my new Youtube channel if you want to check out my newest Art. Just PRESS PLAY below. Thanks for reading!
Well, it took an entire whole year, this past one, to recover from the restaurant industry. I worked in it my whole life for the most part. The Clover snack bar at 17 was my first go of it. Then I was a McDonald’s burger flipper on the assembly line when I was 3 months pregnant in Bucks County Correctional Facility’s work-release program. I went to Culinary School eventually after a long crazy drug addiction & then I had a long crazy career front & back of house. This past year really gave me exactly what I needed to let go of all that. Change my identity. Free myself from all the stereotypes & archetypal personas I had to carry through all of it. Circa 2020 gave me the grace period to overcome. All the gunk accrued over a lifetime of late nights, non-slip shoes, beat-up feet, bags, circles & hangovers.
The restaurant business is the greatest place to have a wild ride & create the best memories you will ever have. Ya make best friends, collect a list of clandestine loves of your life, glide in & out of people’s charming little lives. You become family. They become yours. But there always comes a time when the party must go on without ya. That’s me now. And I gotta say, as much as I questioned it over & over again at first… I knew It had to be done. But the song didn’t stop playing until recently. It took every bit of a whole entire year to get over that love affair I had with the business. And gee, am I sure glad I had the courage & where-with-all to follow through. Because ya know what came of it? These TWO BOOKS.
Click below to get your copies of my two new books & read all about my life story in them. Or follow any of the links to jump on my team, would love to have ya. And, I made an incredible “music video” for my books down below featured on my new Youtube channel if you want to check out my newest Art. Just PRESS PLAY below. Thanks!
I am an excellent writer. I have come a long hard way, to become the refined gem that I am now in my craft. But the one thing that I haven’t mastered in writing, honestly, is conveying my real-life feelings in real-time. Telling my story has always been a challenge. Even though I officially disclosed my entire life story in the middle of the one book I just published, it was the toughest part of the whole project. Emotions run high & judgment is a big factor, not to mention, other people’s business, reputations or privacy is at stake, or worse… people could potentially be hurt or incriminated. So, hence, I was quick to develop a skill of not “naming names.” Plus, if ANYTHING is unhealed from your story, it will show. And that is never… a good look.
Emotional ties tend to cloud objectivity, like when the plaintiff is a family member & you’re on the jury. The pure channel gets staticy, the waves get choppy, the call drops. Unkempt emotions will thus attempt to interfere with any sacred stream of consciousness & complicate the otherwise unimpeded providence of that certain caliber of inspired written flow a good writer has. But, I am gonna go for it anyway, despite all that, because it’s the only way I will improve that underserved area of my writing expertise. I really have nothing to lose at this point by doing so. If I based my readership range on likes & shares, it surely would appear as if no one ever reads my stuff. If & when they do, I barely get an iota of feedback, so I would never know anyway. Like I said… what to lose? Nada.
I am a kind person, I’m not trying to hurt anybody or make anyone feel bad. I have no real ill will anymore towards anyone. No need to forgive anyone for anything, when you have healed. It is what it is. But, ya know, ya can’t go around just people-pleasing all the time & hiding your true feelings just for the sake of being PC on some level you may think is appropriate. What IS appropriate… is to be true to oneself. Anything otherwise is comparable to a type of dumbing down, or it’s like being a vegan & hanging out at the “Wild Wing Cafe” cause that’s where your friends choose to go. Your first loyalty is to your own voice.
That said, I am not gonna keep pretending like it’s okay or that it is “normal,” that I literally have zero support in life, for me, my dreams, goals, plans or endeavors. I think it’s actually safe to say, I have no support system. I have zero family that cares enough in any way shape or form, as to actually take TIME out of their lives to reach out, engage with me, get to know me or have anything to really do with me, so to speak, let alone say a single word about my books or whatnot. I bet not one single person in my entire family, extended or otherwise… even knows the names of my cats. The only semblance of home I ever have or feel is when I watch my prized collection of Diane Keaton movies. I get grounded & reset every time, thank god for Hollywood.
I can only guess that most of the bridges are burnt somehow. And the ones that are not burnt, were just never even built in the first place. I have no brothers & sisters, & both of my parents were NOT family people that cared to keep connections alive. All my friendships are dead. And, every contact I have ever had has no meaning or value for me anymore. I may as well just literally delete every number in my phone, like all 100 of them. I am not a part of any family, circle, tribe, or community. People from my past, just aren’t there anymore. I don’t seem to attract anyone who “gets me” on any other level than a surfacy one, which is a far cry from anyone that even reads my stuff or pays any attention to what I believe in & stand for. Except, the one security guard guy at the local grocery store. He bought my books… but I think he just thinks that maybe, somehow if he is lucky, that will get him closer to my bed. I’m not lying. Good guy & all, but he is MARRIED. I’m through with that phase of my life where I sneak around with unavailable men. I’ve since become more virtuous these days, if you will.
I have one Christian friend who carves minutes out of her otherwise busy life for me (typically when en route), once a month, & she is really only there for me because I seemingly have no one else, & it’s the Christian thing to do. Don’t get me wrong, our friendship is mutual & genuine, but it’s a long-distance one at best & yes, she is my ONE emergency contact. So besides her & a couple of estranged texts from former associates… my ex-boyfriend’s mom, the former “monster-in-law” for lack of a better way to describe it, is the only person who has congratulated me on my books after they were published. The ex-mom-in-law actually responded to my heart-felt group email I put so much time & effort into, which is more than I can say for pretty much everyone else on that list, all 300 of them. That’s pretty nuts if ya ask me. All those emails couldn’t have all gotten lost, lol. Anyway, she is the only person who I know actually read all my books, likes them & leaves good reviews. To be honest… for an ex-mother-in-law from 6 years ago to be the only one I feel SEES me? You can’t tell me that’s not awkward.
Then, we have the singular phone call. It’s the ONE phone call I ever get besides creditors, & the student loan forgiveness people. It is an ex ex-boyfriend from a really long time ago, & because I never answer, he winds up leaving silly drunk messages on my voicemail that never make any sense. I have a collection of them at this point. He’s married with a stepson & has been blowing up my phone religiously 3x a week for the past 2 years straight, to no avail. I mean, okay, it makes me feel loved sorta, but, that’s weird. The cute chubby lady that works here in the shopping center, is my weekly go-to for a soul sister pow wow giggle in the cashier’s line for 10 minutes each week. And who knew the Amazon customer service agent would be the one person I talked to, the entirety of the Christmas holiday.
I mean, I am blessed to the max, don’t get me wrong. I have a charming little sparkly life with my 2 great cosmic cats in my tiny bohemian sage-smudged sanctuary. My solitary life is actually pretty amazing in its own right or else I wouldn’t write & sell books on how to have a good life, lol. My blessings are not even remotely based on people though, as against popular belief as that sounds. It is based on many other valuable factors. What I do have in the way of people in my life, is treasured, of course. I am certainly grateful for all the indiscriminate Earth Angels that speckle my path, even though the connections are oddly scarce & more or less surfacy at this stage of the game. I gotta say, if “what comes around goes around” happened in any kind of obvious way, if tit for tat was the equation, you’d think I was a total asshole. But the truth is, I’m the polar opposite of asshole, my M.O. is “Secret Santa” out in society & on social media. So, this friend/family/people desert happening to my life right now, has got to be some kind of “necessary evil” to the next chapter. I can accept that, but it still doesn’t make it feel good.
So, as I was saying… then we have the neighbor across the way who is the only person I hang out with on a regular basis & that is only because he has no family, friends or life either. We kind of find solace in each other’s company every other weekend for approx 2 hours, when he takes me to run errands because I have no wheels right now. But what you have to understand about this guy, is… he has such a heavy southern draw, that I seriously do not understand anything he says unless I pay really close attention. Our friendship basically consists of him flirting & me laughing it off, & then I usually vent for 20 minutes somewhere in-between, so I can get stuff off my chest. The guy is a sweet man, but we are just friends unfortunately for him. And, with all due respect, I don’t think he would ever be into anything I write about, he is your epitome of a “simple man” who has either fished or worked in a factory setting his whole life, for all intents & purposes. His apartment consists of a bed, a TV & a big dirty smoldering ashtray.
Then, there’s the older “dad guy” friend who used to be my next-door neighbor, til I found his son dead from an overdose when he wasn’t there. Now he has moved downtown, & even though he gets social security checks, he drives Uber so he can support his recreational coke habit. He only calls every other month when he dries out, to rattle on about politics. Then afterward he typically sends me like literally 35 follow-up text messages containing links to all kinds of controversial articles. Then there’s the other “dad guy” friend who I met because he had a Casio keyboard for sale on Craigslist when I first moved here 5 years ago & I bought it. We are still friends. He’s married, retired, & watches his grandkids all the time, & can only sneak out to talk to me once in a while for like 10 minutes if I’m lucky. Yes, he is supportive from a distance, shows me some compassion when I need it, but again, doesn’t read my books or is really a part of my life other than scant phone calls over the years. Don’t get me wrong… those phone calls mean a heck of a lot, considering my circumstances. He kind of serves as a surrogate uncle or something.
In the current state of my connections, it appears that no one has time for me. Everybody has a family of their own, a circle, responsibilities, commitments, loyalties, people that take precedence & priority well over whoever I even am to them. The person that does have time for me, the ex ex… is in an unhappy marriage, on disability & is always drunk, so that doesn’t count. My MOTHER is still alive, & lives in Australia with a whole nother family, for 15 years now, & she only contacts me via email once in a blue moon with some generic “hope you’re well” note. Once in a while, she will discreetly chime in like how she just subscribed to my new YouTube channel the other day under AN ALIAS, mind you. But, who has time for games? Life is too short & precious to be a weird clandestine person in the background of your only daughter’s life, allegedly hiding it from your husband & his family, for some ridiculous reason. Yeah, that’s real good for the kid’s self-esteem, lol. Lucky I’m grown & don’t rely on others for my self-worth.
Speaking of mothers, we then have the woman who served as a surrogate sister/best friend/mom, that was my go-to person for just about everything. I’ve known her for 30 years, & basically talked to her every single week for the past 5 years. This was the only real enduring relationship I thought I had in my life. But, the blinders came off when all of a sudden she dropped out of my life right before Christmas, for reasons beyond me. All I know is… she was in a kind of dark place. So, I’m gonna just let it go at that & try not to take it personally. Then, we have the former best friend/travel partner/colleague who recently walked back into my life via phone/text. She & I were enthusiastically acting like we were gonna resume where we left off, & then suddenly she straight dropped right off, a day after that very phone call, despite my efforts to maintain the connection. A cornerstone of friendship… is being AVAILABLE, as far as I’m concerned. Otherwise, you just feel rejected & not important enough in a friendship that’s anything less. My own 16-year old son & his entire adoptive family who used to support me & communicate with me, just don’t now anymore either. I text my son & I get zero reply, & same thing with most everyone else I text, it’s very strange. If someone were to ever want to spend actual TIME with me right now, I think I’d be floored at this point.
The theme of my life now is literally “radio silence.” No one has given me any substantial or significant support, love, care, compassion or encouragement at this stage of my dreams, what-so-ever. This is precisely why I dedicated both of my newest books to my cats & the animals of the world. At least my cats love & support me, which is more than I can say for ANYBODY that I know, with all due respect to the aforementioned people. Even though, I have had a handful of compliments/congrats via text from certain former friends & colleagues, maybe 2 or 3 likes on Insta & Fb, & my Dad’s sister sent me ONE nice text… it pales in comparison to what I believe I truly deserve. Not to sound arrogant, but the work I do is worthy of great recognition, high regard & accolades. My elite team of benevolent Spirit Guides that channel this material through me, are no joke. Not sure why it seems like people are not taking me seriously when I say that these books are official. These books are NEXT LEVEL & are indefinitely meant for the masses or else I wouldn’t boast them the way I do. I’m obviously grateful for what love, praise or acknowledgment I do receive. But, if you were me, you would feel slighted by pretty much every single person you have ever been associated with too. Sometimes I just chalk it up to my imagination. But clearly… at this point, now that I have gone as far as writing this blog… IT’S NOT.
Here’s a kicker… so I send a group email to what I am calling “the soul tribe” group of people who essentially were my online mentors all summer for all intents & purposes. I sent this email to thank them & to let them know that I gave each & every one of them a special shout-out & “plug” in BOTH of my books. Well, I did manage to receive email replies from 2 assistants that confirmed receipt. Then I received three actual replies of congrats from 3 mentors, which I am super grateful for & to be honest, helped to significantly keep the good vibes afloat. Because, frankly, I felt snubbed by the others, especially considering that I singled out a few & wrote them personal heartfelt messages. But to no avail, I was pretty much rejected or ignored by people that I really thought better of, who I wrote generous things about in my books, which is somewhat disheartening to say the least. Then the cherry on the top was my copywriting teacher whom I had a real-life virtual rapport with, basically came at me & called my dreams SPAM, pretty much, because I seemingly do not fit into her BOX. As far as I am concerned, she could have approached me on a more considerate tip. That said, I have been feeling discouraged lately, I’m only human. I have been rejected over & over & over & over. I have been ignored, dissed, abandoned, avoided, treated like I have the plague on social media & LinkedIn. It is starting to wear on me.
Everybody is either too famous, in-demand, exclusive or already has a network they have allegiance to. People are too involved with their projects, businesses, big dreams, love affairs, kids, pets, plans, relationships, responsibilities, families, jobs, careers, chores, errands, school, activities. People are consumed, distracted, on a schedule & have allegiance to everything that’s important to them. Essentially, no body has room for me at the table. I get it. I’m not mad. I just feel like I have to say it out loud, before it drives me totally up a wall, cause I have no one to vent it to. This past Christmas morning, an old friend from H.S. sent me her email address with the green light to send her my press release & that was literally the best thing that happened to me that whole day, if that says anything. People who have stuck around in the background of my life, faintly lingering, are just being polite as far as I’m concerned. Folks that were my restaurant customers at some point who had a special rapport with me back then, are beginning to now fade almost indefinitely out of the picture, I can feel it on both a fundamental & energetic level.
I had a boss one time at a restaurant I worked at 6 years ago, that fired me & when he did, he said that he only hired me in the first place because he felt sorry for me, not because of my resume, skills, personality or because I was qualified. Well, that stuck with me, because that was really insulting, not to mention he fired me for a totally unfair sexist reason, on my 40th birthday & actually had the nerve to slight my weight in the process. My point is, that even though I’m long over it, sometimes I feel like the girl from 6 years ago, even though I am totally NOT that girl anymore, anger issues & mommy /daddy issues & all. I am done feeling like the stray dog or the orphan, the one that has no kids, family or partner, the damaged goods, the addict archetype, the party girl, the late bloomer, the one who has no place to go on holidays or whatever. I might stand alone in this room with two cats, but I’m on the verge of a really great new beginning, I just know it.
I’ve been camped out in a graveyard of sorts for quite some time. Even my FB friend collection feels like just another dimension of dead relationships that no longer serve me. No matter how many new groups I join or new virtual friends I add… it just seems like a fruitless endeavor. It’s hard to watch people fade away that don’t match you anymore. It’s hard to watch like when you don’t love a mate anymore & you break the news. You want them to be happy and so you continue to try to serve them in some way, but to no avail because what they needyou no longer have. And, vice versa. That said, from now on I’ve decided to pretend that no one is watching & just DANCE. I will keep producing, publishing & creating. That’s what I do, that’s what I got, that’s my purpose & that is what I am here for.
I’m not going to lower the volume of my spirit, dim my light, or dull my shine, just because I feel like people can’t handle it, aren’t paying attention, are too busy, don’t really give a hoot or appear to vehemently resist most of the uncomfortable truths that I typically unmask. I’m not gonna NOT use big or extravagant words sometimes cause the reader might have to Google it. (God forbid, my stuff isn’t on a 5th-grade reading level) Life is not about making yourself small to fit in. And life is too short to stew in a cemetery of headstones that read in small print: here lies everything you’ve ever known that no longer serves you. The little voice in my head is whispering loudly: “Step away from the creepy woods & worn stones of old.” So, I’m just gonna boldly step forward & release whatever unhealthy crap is wallpapering my comfort zone, and soar on, friends… & you should too, if you are feeling that is what you need to do also.
The most precious gift you can give someone is your TIME, most of all… then, of course, your undivided attention, & being 100% authentic is always a given. And, I don’t get that from anyone, really, especially from the “usual suspects,” like the mom, friend, aunt, cousin, son. Quick example, I sent a handful of text messages back home to like 5 or 6 people including my son, his brothers, my cousin, & 2 guys I consider like brothers… about my books & my new YouTube channel & I received ZERO reply. That was a week or two ago. No congrats, no encouragement, no NOTHING, but radio silence. But, two days ago, I did get a random text from my son’s mother saying he got his driving permit. Which of course I cordially congratulated him on, like a respectful considerate human being that has manners should.
I refuse to give up. I might not have a family or support or intimacy or anyone who really believes in me or would even notice If I was gone or dead in here for a few days before decomp set in… but, I am okay with that. I believe in me, & my Angels, guides & cats do too, & that’s what I got. It’s just more of a reason to continue to be blatantly honest with real talk in real-time, push forward with everything I have inside, not feel defeated, attacked or falsely defined, & especially not allow old programs to sabotage my greatness & foreseeable success. I am going to keep believing in my dreams despite the odds. I didn’t come this far to not be seen or heard. I am meant for big things, the curtain is just about to open. I will keep you posted then, thanks for reading.
Click below to get your copies of my two new books & read all about my life story in them. Or follow any of the links to jump on my team, would love to have ya. And, I made an incredible “music video” for my books down below featured on my new Youtube channel if you want to check out my newest Art. Just PRESS PLAY below & it won’t even redirect, it plays right here & now. Thanks!
Bring it in… come on back, get in here. Let’s live right here in this moment for a sec, together. It’s circa the 21st century & 2020 wound to a close successfully, & we made it in one piece! Going forward, we now can assimilate our beings to the tune of the new energies dancing in the ether all around us. Unless you live under a rock, you can feel the monumental planetary shift, even if just a little. What we are calling “The New Earth” is dawning.
We are embarking upon decade 2 of this century & whether you are a millennial, Boomer, Gen-Xer, younger, or older… you are here right now for a reason. Your soul has chosen to be here on Earth at this time to participate in the prospering of our nation, world, & human species. It may not look like it, but appearances can be deceiving. We are now more than ever, willing to concede as a species, as the old egoic fear-based consciousness goes into retirement for good. For THE GOOD of mankind.
December 21, 2020 was a very special winter solstice. It was a landmark event in the time-space continuum that will go down in history. It was the mark of the end of “The Dark Ages” of man. In Sanskrit, it is called the Kali Yuga: the age of conflict. We have been in a string of dark ages for quite some time. On 12.21.20, humanity officially birthed the Age of Aquarius. In Sanskrit, it is called Satya Yuga or Krita Yuga, which is the age of truth, virtue and righteousness. The Ancient Atlantean ones lived in this age long ago, & now we have come full circle. Let us rejoice… for finally, humanity has come to this beautiful dawning of the ages.
Want to know more? My two new books cover EVERYTHING. These are two books you don’t want to miss…