Tag Archives: Family Tree

Motherless: ode to Mother’s Day

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Elegance, sophistication, beauty & grace. Charming, generous, selfless, & kind. Everybody loves the ring of all those words. They seem applicable to a woman in your life who you admire or simply: a mom.

“A MOM POEM“

The steadfast ally, your hero, support staff, or even a sorta saint. The lady who loves you through all your shit, makes sure you always have a birthday cake & that you’re never a minute too late. On the sidelines, always a phone call away, the only one who outlasted every phase of your life. Where home always is, with a spare bedroom just in case you’re on a sorta strike. The person who knows your favorite things, & reminds you of who you are when you forget. Who digs up fun memories, tacky Xmas ornaments ya made in 3rd grade, when you were once the teacher’s pet.

The one who remembers all those special moments when you were small, who makes sure you sit up straight, suck it in & stand tall. Who keeps your pantry filled with emergency chips & cookies for that rainy day. Who knows how a home-cooked meal & a little retail therapy goes a long goddamn way. Who knows just how to cheer u up or cheer u on. Who has that keen sensibility to always tell when something may be wrong. What a special brand of human, a mom. Nothing could ever compete or compare to that lovely special sacred bond.

Elegance, sophistication, beauty & grace. Charming, generous, selfless, & kind. These words sound sweet, nice, delightful & warm. There is no mistake about them. No margin for error. No second-guessing their intent. They are safe honest words. Words that politely smile. Words that give that reassuring wink. Words that do a little curtsy, make ya feel good, even tickled pink.

If a son or, daughter, in this case, can recite any of those words aloud regarding their own mother & mean it, what a true gift! This should never be taken for granted. Because… not everyone can do that. Consider yourself lucky if you can, privileged even, & wealthy beyond measure. Not all moms are gems. In fact, some are just the opposite.

That said, do you know what word single-handedly kills the mood? A word that feels cold, callous, cruel, unkind, uncaring, & unforgiving like a brutal drought, famine or plague? The word: motherless. There it is, all by itself in its puddle of piss. The word even hurts to write, think or say. As if it is even possible to need a word for such a thing. But, unfortunately, it is, on all too many occasions. What a sad state of affairs… being abandoned, thus motherless.

Everyone needs their mom to love them, accept them, nurture them, encourage them, care & be there. Young, old, doesn’t matter what age, a person never outgrows the tenderness of unconditional love. A mom is that one person you can count on to be your biggest fan, secret Santa or perfect gal pal. Your mother is supposed to be the one person you trust, who won’t ever be gone for too long. A girl, a young lady, a woman… needs her mom. All of us need an “Attagirl!” once in a while.

But, unfortunately, some of us do not have that luxury, & not because of a death. But because of deliberate estrangement, which is worse, as far as I’m concerned. My mother, her sister & brother were abandoned by their mother & so I guess that explains why history repeated itself. It’s in the DNA of this family for the women to abandon their children & family for that matter. My mom’s sister, also, an abandoner of sorts. Special thanks goes out to the grandmother I never knew, for setting the stage, setting the standard, & setting in motion a twisted traumatic trend that sailed all the way into the 21st century. She owes me… an apology.

But, I’m beginning to think it’s just better this way. I realize now that I have become a better person without my mother. The insidious damage she inflicted in my youth is finally healing itself. It took 40 long effed up years. And just when I dared to think the coast was clear… more damage incurred, & it took 5 more years. Better late than never, I guess, for my sake. I’m still young enough to have a life. Maybe now I can actually proceed to get on with it & have some sense of normalcy. Like a family or partner maybe, that actually sticks around & CARES? That would be a welcome change. I can’t say that forgiveness is ever easy. It’s not. But, you push & push & push the pain until it goes out the other side. Gradually time heals the injustices of it all. For the most part anyway. Can’t say it ALL magically disappears though.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the motherless people out there, who watch Diane Keaton movies or whatnot, to pretend. Those of us who cringe on Mother’s Day & feel the pit of despair when social media floods with all these perfect mom moments. I get it. You are not alone. I am an adult orphan too. And even though I have only mothered animals in this lifetime due to this flawed lineage, it counts. So happy Mother’s Day to all the pet parents out there too, cheers to you on this day. And salute! To all the “birth moms” too, who were fortunate enough to have the luxury of open adoptions, or not. I’m a birth mom… & we sure do count. And, let us give a proper UN-tone-deaf shout-out to all those whose mothers are MISSING this year. Unfortunately, Covid took many precious lives & moms were a significant part of that demographic. The good news is… moms go to Heaven. That said, finally… God bless the mothers who just couldn’t figure it out enough to show up properly or show up at all. Mother’s Day is for ALL OF US, God doesn’t discriminate.

Thanks for reading. Now, scroll down below & purchase my two new books on Amazon. Show some love this Mother’s Day…

Buy the Books!!

Namaste!

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